Quiz for Kids...
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? e.g.abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the Borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean? (I do love this one.)
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
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Take 1. Heard some news that Rafa only had 2mil pound transfer kitty? Who the heck can he buy with that amount of $$$? Defender from Conference League? Even a defender from Hull is rated at 10mil pound. WTF???
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Testy Testing...(Old Joke)
One night Jack Evans, along with his 3 university friends went out drinkinig till late night, as many college students are prone to do, and didn't study for their test, which, of course, was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt. They went up to the dean and explained that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst. They continued to explain how they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test. The dean, being a compassionate human being said that they could rtake the test after 3 days. The students garaciously replied that they'd be ready by that time. On the third day, they appeared before the dean. The dean explained that since this was a special test all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the duration of the exam. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. The test consisted of 5 questions with total of 100 points:
MID SEMESTER COURSEWORK EXAMINATIONINSTRUCTIONS :All questions are required. Any inconsistencies on any of the questions among the four students will result in all the candidates getting a zero mark.
Q.1. Write down your name. ----- (2 POINTS)
Q.2. Write the name of the bride and bridegroom at the wedding you attended. ----- (30 POINTS)
Q.3. What type of a car were you driving? ------(20 POINTS)
Q.4. Which tire burst? ------- (28 POINTS)
Q.5. Who was driving? ------ (20 POINTS)
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Take 2. Car meter reached 12k this morning, after using it for almost 5 months. Averaged usage of petrol about RM400 per month. Travelled averaged about 2500km per month. Been using few petrols to compare the performance. Started using P at first, then tried S and one time M. Been using S for a few months now cos got competition. Hey, RM30k is a lot ler...but didn't win any yet. Summary, S is slightly better than P in terms of performance. But I will still alternate between S & P to find out more comparison performance, especially when RON95 is coming next month. Also, it's far away from what Proton claimed that Saga BLM can achieve. It could be my style of driving or the city traffic that cause it but it's almost half of what they claimed. Maybe I can send them a copy of the report that I made.
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Birthday Wishes...
Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
“Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.”
Little Bobby was a bit of a trouble maker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby’s mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did. Bobby’s mother, being a Christian woman, wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the year.
“Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday."
Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
*****LETTER 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one. Your Friend, Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn’t true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.
*****LETTER 2
Dear God,
I have been an “OK” Boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.
Bobby
Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a third letter.
*****LETTER 3
Dear God,
I know I haven’t been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday please.
Thank you, Bobby
Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. Now, Bobby was very upset. He went down stairs and told his Mom that he wanted to go to church. Bobby’s mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.
“Just be home in time for dinner," Bobby’s mother told him.
Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the alter. He looked around to see if any one was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the Church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen and began to write his letter to God.
*****LETTER 4
God,
I'VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.
Bobby
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