The New Pastor...
A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners.
At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote 'Revelation 3:20' on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned.
Added to it was this cryptic message, 'Genesis 3:10.' Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.'
Genesis 3:10 reads, 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.'
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
What is a Kiss???
So, what is a kiss in professors's term?
Prof. of Computer Science:
A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.
Prof. of Algebra:
A kiss is two divided by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry:
A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.
Prof. of Physics:
A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.
Prof. of Zoology:
A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria.
Prof. of Physiology:
A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicular ors muscles in the state of contraction.
Prof. of Dentistry:
A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
Prof. of Accountancy:
A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.
Prof. of Economics:
A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.
Prof. of Philosophy:
A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.
Prof. of Engineering:
Uh, What? Im not familiar with that term.
Prof. of Computer Science:
A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.
Prof. of Algebra:
A kiss is two divided by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry:
A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.
Prof. of Physics:
A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.
Prof. of Zoology:
A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria.
Prof. of Physiology:
A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicular ors muscles in the state of contraction.
Prof. of Dentistry:
A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
Prof. of Accountancy:
A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.
Prof. of Economics:
A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.
Prof. of Philosophy:
A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.
Prof. of Engineering:
Uh, What? Im not familiar with that term.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Swift Influence
Yeah..I'm talking about Taylor Swift. Everyone should know who she is after the Kanye outburst. But she came back strong after that incident.
I admit that I currently like this country chick as my favourite artist. She's really an artist on fire at the moment, bagging loads of awards and no 1 hits. At 19, she has achieve more that what a regular 19 year olds do.
I have the Fearless album. Usually, I only like few songs from albums of any singers, but I actually like all of her songs. Really soothing and nice to hear. I'm sure a lot of you have heard Love Story, You Belong with Me an Fifteen already,but try to listen to the rest such as Fearless and White Horse. Highly recommended.
Back to the title, why influence? Well, she has a song that she featured on. 2 Is Better Than 1, a song by Boys Like Girls featured Taylor Swift is my current favourite song now. I wasn't really a fan of Boys Like Girls before this. After this song, now I kinda like them. Maybe because of Taylor's influence. I didn't think that Love Drunk is a cool song, but now I did.. haha.
This is 2 is Better Than 1 - Boys Like Girls ft Taylor Swift
Lyrics
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my lifeAnd I thought hey
You know this could be something
Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing
'Cause maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one
I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everythings okay
And finally now, we're leaving
And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one
Yeah, yeah
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey
Maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinkingOooh I can't live without you
'Cause baby two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And I've figured out with all that's said and done
Two, is better than one
Two is better than one
Looking forward to her next album now... :)
I admit that I currently like this country chick as my favourite artist. She's really an artist on fire at the moment, bagging loads of awards and no 1 hits. At 19, she has achieve more that what a regular 19 year olds do.
I have the Fearless album. Usually, I only like few songs from albums of any singers, but I actually like all of her songs. Really soothing and nice to hear. I'm sure a lot of you have heard Love Story, You Belong with Me an Fifteen already,but try to listen to the rest such as Fearless and White Horse. Highly recommended.
Back to the title, why influence? Well, she has a song that she featured on. 2 Is Better Than 1, a song by Boys Like Girls featured Taylor Swift is my current favourite song now. I wasn't really a fan of Boys Like Girls before this. After this song, now I kinda like them. Maybe because of Taylor's influence. I didn't think that Love Drunk is a cool song, but now I did.. haha.
This is 2 is Better Than 1 - Boys Like Girls ft Taylor Swift
Lyrics
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my lifeAnd I thought hey
You know this could be something
Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing
'Cause maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one
I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everythings okay
And finally now, we're leaving
And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one
Yeah, yeah
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey
Maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinkingOooh I can't live without you
'Cause baby two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And I've figured out with all that's said and done
Two, is better than one
Two is better than one
Looking forward to her next album now... :)
Friday, November 6, 2009
Cyril Takayama!
As a child of the 80's, I grew up in the time where David Copperfield was famous. Then, I started to have interested in watching magic shows, although I didn't have much chance.
Come beyond the year 2000, I stumbled upon some clips send by others in the mail about this amazing magician. Haven't had a clue on who he was. Saw him again with "THEM." Still doesn't know his name until recently, found loads of his street performance in Japan on Youtube. He is CYRIL TAKAYAMA!
I'm really impressed with his magic abilities. He did something that I have never seen in other magicians before and I wonder how it is just an illusion and not real. I woudn't compare him to other magicians like David Blain or Criss Angel because they have different kind of magic but he is in a world on his own.
Few weeks ago, I was in a video store in Kuala Lumpur and I found a dvd on Cyril's street performance in Japan. Quickly snapped it without hesitation. In there were loads of his amazing magics which some keeps on amazed me until now. Too bad most of it in Japanese and there's no subtitles :p.
Most notable performance that he can do is bringing out burgers/food from posters and eat it, then put it back half eaten. This is my favourite. Another similar instance is that he made a tap using a marker pen and stuck it in a poster of a cola drink. The cola literally flows out when he opens the tap...and it's a real thing!
Cyril can do magic in lots of different way such as card tricks, coins, telekinesis, flying and a lot more and I can't wait to see what he has stored for us in the coming future. I wouldn't be surprised if he can do something that is really impossible.
There's not much to say on whether Cyril touched my life.. but he has set a standard of magics that I'm going to expect in the future, not only from him but also from others.
A legend in the making..or is he already one?
CYRIL: Simply Magic!
Come beyond the year 2000, I stumbled upon some clips send by others in the mail about this amazing magician. Haven't had a clue on who he was. Saw him again with "THEM." Still doesn't know his name until recently, found loads of his street performance in Japan on Youtube. He is CYRIL TAKAYAMA!
I'm really impressed with his magic abilities. He did something that I have never seen in other magicians before and I wonder how it is just an illusion and not real. I woudn't compare him to other magicians like David Blain or Criss Angel because they have different kind of magic but he is in a world on his own.
Few weeks ago, I was in a video store in Kuala Lumpur and I found a dvd on Cyril's street performance in Japan. Quickly snapped it without hesitation. In there were loads of his amazing magics which some keeps on amazed me until now. Too bad most of it in Japanese and there's no subtitles :p.
Most notable performance that he can do is bringing out burgers/food from posters and eat it, then put it back half eaten. This is my favourite. Another similar instance is that he made a tap using a marker pen and stuck it in a poster of a cola drink. The cola literally flows out when he opens the tap...and it's a real thing!
Cyril can do magic in lots of different way such as card tricks, coins, telekinesis, flying and a lot more and I can't wait to see what he has stored for us in the coming future. I wouldn't be surprised if he can do something that is really impossible.
There's not much to say on whether Cyril touched my life.. but he has set a standard of magics that I'm going to expect in the future, not only from him but also from others.
A legend in the making..or is he already one?
CYRIL: Simply Magic!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Taikor
Yes, I'm talking about "Big Brother" as translated. Also talk about big boss in triad days.. happened to me? No. It's just a novel.
This is no ordinary novel. It's really good. It has a great characters and storyline and have some elements of facts about pre independence Malaysia in the 1900s. Very highly recommended to read this book.
The author is Mr Khoo Kheng-Hor from Penang and published by Pelanduk Publications (M) Sdn Bhd. I think you can find the book in various bookstores in Malaysia.
A historical saga that brings back the past for those who could still remember and for the young who may wish to know how things used to be in the years between 1922 and 1982.
From the beginning in prewar British-ruled Malaya, the story revolves around the life of a boy as he grows to manhood. It traces the migration of his family from South Thailand to Penang after his father passes away, his brief childhood living with his young widowed mother who subsequently remarried, and thereafter his banishment as a youngster by his stepfather to war-torn Shanghai. On his return, he had to find a way to earn a living and thereafter, survive the bloody days of the Japanese Occupation. Even after the surrender of the Japanese, there was the lawless postwar period, from which he saw opportunities to eventually emerge as a taikor(big brother) in Penang's chaotic underworld. Apart from opportunities, the postwar years also saw dangers, like the Emergency period when Communist insurgents tried to destabalize the country's development.
Finally, a nation was born when Malaya became an independent sovereign State. And just as the new nation strive to build a future from its historical legacy, the taikor sought to break away from his past involvement in triad activities to build a new life for himself and his family.
Check it out. You won't regret it. This novel was nominated for the 2006 International IMPAC Dublin Literary Award.
===================================
Taikor wasn't the only one novel that Mr Khoo wrote. There are 3 more.
The second one - Don't judge the book by it's cover.
Following the success of his first novel, Taikor, which was nominated for the 2006 International IMPAC Dublin Literary Award, Mr Khoo has launched this second one which plunges the readers into the glitzy world of nightclubbing.
As Mr Khoo takes you behind the scenes of a large Kuala Lumpur cabaret and nightclub, be shocked and fascinated by the lives of a host of vividly-drawn characters, from the dance hostesses, mamasans, managers, bouncers to those customers who patronize nightclubs. Be prepared to find yourself in a whole new world totally different from those known to most of us. It is a world where money "plenty of it" is king, arousing greed, lust, violence, and yet be surprised to find out that the players are, in truth no difference from us, the average guys, as they too could love, hate, dream, hope, despair, feel hurt, bleed, laugh and cry as we do.
As passionate storyteller, Mr Khoo spins a tale encompassing other tales covering juvenile delinquecy, growing up, deceit versus honesty, love, broken home, corruption and power abuse of police officers, rape, blackmail and murder.
Be entertained.
===================================
The third one.
Today, many people around the world have heard of Malaysia and Singapore. But not many really knew that these two nations were once known as literally meaning the "Southern Ocean", a name given by the early Chinese migrants who flocked to this part of the world to escape from war, poverty, hunger and famine, and to seek their fortune.
In this absorbing historical saga, Mr Khoo weaves an engaging tale linking the multi-racial peoples who inhabit the two countries: the orang asli(i.e. the aborigines), the people from various parts of Southeast Asia collectively known as the Malays, the Chinese(migrants and Straits-born Peranakan), the Indians, and of course the Eurasions, descendent of inter-marriages of the natives and the Europeans, such as early Portuguese who came to colonize the wealthy Malacca Sultanate, before being chased out by the Dutch, who in turn were outmaneuvered by the British, who thereafter systematically colonized the land to be known as British Malaya and the Crown Colony of Singapore until they too were driven out by the invading Japanese.
Here is the fascinating story of their relationships, as seen through the lives of four generations as they toiled and struggled for wealth and power, fought for their beliefs and freedom, and felt their hopes and dreams for their future and those of their offsprings, as Nanyang became two separate fledging nations.
===================================
And the most recent one.
Death was an old companion for him.
He grew up in uncertain and violent times. Even with the return of the British after the Japanese Occupation, a peaceful life was still non-existent in post-war Malaya. He was forced to join his family in suffering an uprooting from his home to a barbed-wire New Village as a government’s strategy to contain a Communist insurgency.
Having watched his father’s cold-blooded murder as ordered by an over-zealous British army officer, he knew he had to survive in order to seek vengeance. Young as he was, he also knew he couldn’t do it all on his own but had to learn from those who were able to teach him.
It was his destiny to meet the sifu - teacher or master - who would initiate him in the deadly craft of a professional assassin. But unlike many others, he wouldn’t kill indiscriminately. He killed only those who deserved to die until death came too close to him.
Just finished Sifu. Again, another twist of characters and plots in this book. I shall not reveal more so it's better you grab a copy and read it yourself.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Bali Day 2- 19 September 2009
Day 2 started with a bang. My alarm was actually set at 7.30am. But at approx 7:06am, I was awoken by a loud sound. In my blurness, I noticed that my bed is moving around... like when you are in a bus on a long and bumpy road. OMG!! It's earthquake! You can hear the buildings and windows vibrating. It stopped after awhile. 
After spa, is dinner time. Also nearby at Dian Restaurant. Most of the guys had tasty food but the one I had, Set Bebek (crispy duck) is not so nice. Rice is too sticky, duck was dry and portion was so small. Not full at all. We had another crispy duck the next day, that one is much better. Check out the day 3 next ya.
Bye.
I went outside to see that everyone is actually outside, asking what is going on. They say it's earthquake...not sure where yet. First time they felt that strong tremor in Bali as per the hotel staff. I went back in and freshen up. On the Tv to see if there's any news about the earthquake. Voila. There was. The epicentre was in the ocean, about 75km south of Denpasar. Oh well, we all continue with breakfast without any panic or what and continue the day as planned.
After breakfast, our first stop is the Monkey Forest visiting the mischievious monkeys. Monkeys as usual are quite scary but here are not that scary. They only want food. You can actually buy bananas at the entrance to feed them monkeys. Usual things u can see is finding kutu la. You can see the pics down here that they really enjoy it, even until showing your butt to everyone.
After breakfast, our first stop is the Monkey Forest visiting the mischievious monkeys. Monkeys as usual are quite scary but here are not that scary. They only want food. You can actually buy bananas at the entrance to feed them monkeys. Usual things u can see is finding kutu la. You can see the pics down here that they really enjoy it, even until showing your butt to everyone.
So, after hanging at the Monkey forest for like 2 hours from 9am to 11am, we head all the way to the other end of the road to have our lunch. Not all the way as there bound to be someone stopped at the shops on both sides of the road to grab something as it's our last day to shop there.
BABI GULING!!! Yay, you must try this when you come to Bali. The restaurant we went, Ibu OKA Babi Guling was packed with ppl, even got long queue when we reached at about 11:45am. we managed to get a big square table what we have to squeeze to fit all of us. Pics below. It's nice but the skin is everyly crispy until it's damn hard. Poor Babi.
After lunch, we went to Ubud Market to do a little of shopping. Bought some clothes and vanilla. Then is Spa time!
We went to Verona Spa which is just located at a lorong beside our hotel. Booked the package..which lasted 4 hours to finish. Nice place, nice massage, but ducks outside is so noisy when massaging. Ka ka cau cau.
After spa, is dinner time. Also nearby at Dian Restaurant. Most of the guys had tasty food but the one I had, Set Bebek (crispy duck) is not so nice. Rice is too sticky, duck was dry and portion was so small. Not full at all. We had another crispy duck the next day, that one is much better. Check out the day 3 next ya.
Bye.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Bali Day 1 - 18 September 2009
My first time on a plane, flying across ocean... and it went to the awesome island called Bali. Bali is part of Indonesia, the world's most populous Muslim and yet almost 90% of Balinese are Hindu. That's why you can see a lot of Ganesha's and Buddha's face all around Bali.
It actually came with a pink guava juice as seen on pics. And also 3 biji Ferrero Rocher and Jacker Wafer Biscuit(which has been taken out). The nasi lemak was nice. Small portion though but no complaints there as I had 3 pieces of cake at home, then had McDonalds breakfast at KLIA. Quite full. Haha.
Pics below is stewardess in action, serving breakfast to everyone.
Flight was at 9:50am. Reached KLIA main terminal at about 7:45am.
Almost everyone has arrived. Two went to LCCT because the taxi uncle sent them wrong way. Luckily they made it in time to check in. We fly by Malaysia Airlines.
Almost everyone has arrived. Two went to LCCT because the taxi uncle sent them wrong way. Luckily they made it in time to check in. We fly by Malaysia Airlines.
Suaku, you may say about me, but first time flying, what can you say. I guess everyone who fly first time will take pics of clouds from above. The pics here looks like 3 animals to me..haha.
Since it's MAS, we had breakfast on board with a choice if roti canai or nasi lemak. We chose nasi lemak.
It actually came with a pink guava juice as seen on pics. And also 3 biji Ferrero Rocher and Jacker Wafer Biscuit(which has been taken out). The nasi lemak was nice. Small portion though but no complaints there as I had 3 pieces of cake at home, then had McDonalds breakfast at KLIA. Quite full. Haha.Pics below is stewardess in action, serving breakfast to everyone.
We touch down at Bali at about 12:55pm. We were flying really close above the sea before landing as the airport runway is right beside the sea. Kinda a bit scary..haha.
Went through immigration without much hustle..long queue cos it's holidays. When collecting our luggage, the drama begins. We couldn't find 5 of our luggages. We had 21ppl coming to bali and 5 of them are missing, including mine, my gf's, my boss' and 2 of the boys. According to my boss, this is the first time the luggage is missing since they started flying around.
We went to lodge a report. They said the luggages were stranded at KLIA. Luckily there's another MAS flight coming to Bali in the evening, and they can bring the luggages along. They promise to deliver the luggages to our hotel in Ubud once they arrived. So we take our copy of report and leave the airport, with 7 of us without our clean clothes to wear for the whole day, hopefully. We leave at about 2:30pm to Ubud.
Reaced our hotel at about 3:50pm. Yulia Village Inn was located at Jalan Monkey Forest in Ubud. The road is full of shops on both sides, be it selling souvenirs, t-shirts, sarongs, restaurants, hotels, bungalows, spa and not forgetting the Monkey Forest.
We went to have our lunch at a nearby restaurant. Ubud Village Restaurant. Since it's about 4:30pm when we went there, we had a light meal as our supposed dinner was supposed to be at around 7pm...which was pushed back to 8pm. Pics below is one of their signature sandwich.
After that we went jalan jalan along the road to see if there's anything interesting to buy. Interesting view all the way and they sell interesting stuff also. After that, we went back to hotel. Bad news, luggages haven't arrive yet. Everyone else went to dinner with clean clothes. 7 of us went to dinner after bath with dirty clothes.
Dinner at Wayan cafe, only a few minutes walk from the hotel. We sit on the floor with coffee table, which is quite a tricky way to sit for my boss and also myself with long legs. Haha. Need to adjust the way i sit a few times. I had Wayan's Chicken Curry. It was good.
Oh. When we get back to hotel after dinner, we got news that the luggages have arrived in Bali, but not sure yet when will reach the hotel cos there were few others who share the same bad luck as us. If they are staying at Kuta or Nusa Dua area, they'll get it first. We're staying at Ubud which is in the middle of Bali, so, it's most likely that we are the last one to get it. And alas, we got it at about 11pm. Yay. Clean clothes.
Here's some pics of the hotel we were staying. Bed looks nice. And they are so kedekut giving only syampoo..no bath foam also. And 2 shower cap. And 2 mineral water.
Ok. That's basically first day at Bali. Will continue with day 2 later. For more pics, can check it out at my facebook photos.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Lazy
Ya, the lazyness kicked in :( Plus I don't have much to say anyway..
Goal fest in last weekend's BPL. Yossi showed why he's important by getting a hattrick against Burnley with Kuyt completed the 4-0 scoreline. Man City also get 4 goals as they passed their first test with flying colours against Arsenal, who only managed to reply 2. But that 2 means the last team finally concedes. High flying Spurs was brought down to earth by Man Utd. As quoted by Jamie Yeo(something like that), "1 man down, 1 goal down, win 3-1. That's why they are champion." Chelsea scored another last minute goal...I thought Stoke will pull out a brave draw. No big surprise in the other matches.
Champions League starts today. The race to become the European Champion is on.
Friday, I'm going to Bali..yay. Don't look for me until the next Wednesday. Will write a diary and put it here, just for a guide if you want to go next time. Hopefully can catch good pics. Sorry I dun have those high tech digicam... only normal Olympus camera.
Here's some jokes for u guys..
Miracle at a Gas Station...
Sister Mary, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas.
The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned.
Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in the car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient.
Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the street.
One of them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm converting."
==================================
A Summer Skirt Situation...
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, a lovely looking woman became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step
Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"
The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."
Goal fest in last weekend's BPL. Yossi showed why he's important by getting a hattrick against Burnley with Kuyt completed the 4-0 scoreline. Man City also get 4 goals as they passed their first test with flying colours against Arsenal, who only managed to reply 2. But that 2 means the last team finally concedes. High flying Spurs was brought down to earth by Man Utd. As quoted by Jamie Yeo(something like that), "1 man down, 1 goal down, win 3-1. That's why they are champion." Chelsea scored another last minute goal...I thought Stoke will pull out a brave draw. No big surprise in the other matches.
Champions League starts today. The race to become the European Champion is on.
Friday, I'm going to Bali..yay. Don't look for me until the next Wednesday. Will write a diary and put it here, just for a guide if you want to go next time. Hopefully can catch good pics. Sorry I dun have those high tech digicam... only normal Olympus camera.
Here's some jokes for u guys..
Miracle at a Gas Station...
Sister Mary, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas.
The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned.
Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in the car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient.
Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the street.
One of them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm converting."
==================================
A Summer Skirt Situation...
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, a lovely looking woman became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step
Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"
The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Drunk at a Bar...
In the middle of a huge metropolitan city was a skyscraper where at the top was a bar. At the end of a particularly hard day at work Jim went up to the bar to let go the stresses of that day. When he got there, there was already a man sitting at the bar drinking a particularly vile looking drink.
This strange man said "watch this" and proceeded to walk over to one of the large windows lining the wall. He then picked up a chair and smashed out the window and stepped out.
He started falling toward the ground turning end over end and right before he hit the ground he stopped and proceeded to drift up. He floated back up through the window and went back over to the bar.
Jim looked at the bartender and said "I'll have what he's having!"
After a few rounds of the drink, Jim stumbled over to the window and fell out. He fell all the way to the ground and landed with a loud SMACK.
The bartender turns to the mysterious man and says "Superman, you're such a jerk when you're drunk!"
==================================
BPL action over the weekend is normal. Gerrard snached a late win for Liverpool at Bolton. Man Utd got away with a win over Arsenal thanks to an own goal by Diaby. Arshavin scored a wonderful goal though. Lennon fired a stoppage time goal to keep them 4 win out of four to join Chelsea at the summit. Man City continued to have another clean sheet as Adebayor scored his third league goal as in many games.
==================================
Daddy Action...
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living.
"Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"
Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks."
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.
Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?
==================================
What is the most popular song in the radio now? I listen to radio a lot when I travel. I listen to "I Got A Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas everyday. Caught the same song played at 2 different stations at the same time for a few times. Chances of 3 stations playing the same song? Well, almost. 2 stations played I Got A Feeling and another playerd Boom Boom Pow. I''m sick of the songs already. Another popular artist that I frequently heard on the radio is from David Archuletta. I think I listen to all his songs everyday. But the songs that I look forward to at the moment are You Belong With Me and The Climb.
==================================
Holy Jokes!
A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"
His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?"
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly, "It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'
=======
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.
========
"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."
========
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
========
There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
========
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign:
"Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."
==================================
Still haven't have any update to my stories...sorry.
This strange man said "watch this" and proceeded to walk over to one of the large windows lining the wall. He then picked up a chair and smashed out the window and stepped out.
He started falling toward the ground turning end over end and right before he hit the ground he stopped and proceeded to drift up. He floated back up through the window and went back over to the bar.
Jim looked at the bartender and said "I'll have what he's having!"
After a few rounds of the drink, Jim stumbled over to the window and fell out. He fell all the way to the ground and landed with a loud SMACK.
The bartender turns to the mysterious man and says "Superman, you're such a jerk when you're drunk!"
==================================
BPL action over the weekend is normal. Gerrard snached a late win for Liverpool at Bolton. Man Utd got away with a win over Arsenal thanks to an own goal by Diaby. Arshavin scored a wonderful goal though. Lennon fired a stoppage time goal to keep them 4 win out of four to join Chelsea at the summit. Man City continued to have another clean sheet as Adebayor scored his third league goal as in many games.
==================================
Daddy Action...
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living.
"Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"
Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks."
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.
Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?
==================================
What is the most popular song in the radio now? I listen to radio a lot when I travel. I listen to "I Got A Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas everyday. Caught the same song played at 2 different stations at the same time for a few times. Chances of 3 stations playing the same song? Well, almost. 2 stations played I Got A Feeling and another playerd Boom Boom Pow. I''m sick of the songs already. Another popular artist that I frequently heard on the radio is from David Archuletta. I think I listen to all his songs everyday. But the songs that I look forward to at the moment are You Belong With Me and The Climb.
==================================
Holy Jokes!
A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"
His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?"
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly, "It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'
=======
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.
========
"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."
========
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
========
There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
========
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign:
"Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."
==================================
Still haven't have any update to my stories...sorry.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
He is Watching You...
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack, when a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying,
"Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,
"Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.
"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"
"Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"
"The same kind of people that would name a pit bull, Jesus."
==================================
Third round of BPL. Well, another defeat to Liverpool. Now, they have lost twice in 3 games/10days. Shocking to me. Didn't watch the game. No ASTRO at home.Don't want to go out in this month also. This time, also defending set pieces failed them. They need to get their act together if they want to end the long wait for the title. Perhaps Rafa should bring Gerrard back to central midfield and play with 2 strikers. Else, Burnley continued their fairy tale run in the premiership, this time Everton was the victim to another 1-0 defeat. Spurs, Man City and Arsenal also end up with a win. Now only left Man City as the only club yet to concede a goal in the premiership. Stoke and Birmingham got the first draw game of the season.
==================================
[Joke] Watch The Watch...
It was opening night at the Orpheum and the Claude the Amazing Hypnotist was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude took to the stage, he announced,
"Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. Its been in my family for six generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch.... "
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"Crap!" said the hypnotist.
It took three weeks to clean up the theater.
"Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,
"Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.
"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"
"Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"
"The same kind of people that would name a pit bull, Jesus."
==================================
Third round of BPL. Well, another defeat to Liverpool. Now, they have lost twice in 3 games/10days. Shocking to me. Didn't watch the game. No ASTRO at home.Don't want to go out in this month also. This time, also defending set pieces failed them. They need to get their act together if they want to end the long wait for the title. Perhaps Rafa should bring Gerrard back to central midfield and play with 2 strikers. Else, Burnley continued their fairy tale run in the premiership, this time Everton was the victim to another 1-0 defeat. Spurs, Man City and Arsenal also end up with a win. Now only left Man City as the only club yet to concede a goal in the premiership. Stoke and Birmingham got the first draw game of the season.
==================================
[Joke] Watch The Watch...
It was opening night at the Orpheum and the Claude the Amazing Hypnotist was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude took to the stage, he announced,
"Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. Its been in my family for six generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch.... "
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"Crap!" said the hypnotist.
It took three weeks to clean up the theater.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Fear Factor
Well, just in case you want to know the correct term of what you fear or have phobia in, here's some of them that might link to you.
But before that, here's some facts about some celebrities who have a weird fears in them. (Taken from a pullout in The Star)
1. BBC's Mind Matters reports that Johnny Depp is not only afraid of spiders, he also freak out whenever he sees a clown! (Now you know how to fight Captain Jack Sparrow)
2. Actor Matthew McConaughey may be fit and hunky but he is scared of tunnels and revolving doors.
3. Scarlett Johansson has a more common phobia - cockraches.
4. Former Baywatch star Carmen Electra may have done millions of photoshoots by the beach but the actress is still not quite ready to jump in the water. She is afraid of water. (So how did she act in Baywatch in the first place...)
5. Not only he is commitment-phobic, according to Toronto Star, John Mayer also has 'dirt phobia' and always goes through every corner of his hotel room to make sure that it's sparky clean and free of dust when he checks in.
6. Nicole Kidman and butterflies? They just don't go together. Based on a news report on Contactmusic.com, the Australian actress is reportedly suffering from fear of butterflies.
7. You think David Beckham is cool? Think again. The footballer is reportedly suffering from ataxophobia (fear of untidiness) and must organize his wardrobe according to colour. He also has the urge to count his clothes and organize his magazines in straight lines.
8. Talk is that actress and reality star Pamela Anderson is terrified of mirrors.
9. Keanu Reeves is reportedly suffering from scotophobia (fear of darkness) and computer phobia. (So, how did he become Neo in Matrix?)
10. Sarah Michelle Gellar is scared of graveyard. According to FOXNews.com, a fake graveyard had to be built because the former Buffy the Vampire Slayer star refused to film the series in real graveyards.
The list.
Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing.
Achluophobia- Fear of darkness.
Acousticophobia- Fear of noise.
Acrophobia- Fear of heights.
Agliophobia- Fear of pain.
Agoraphobia- Fear of open spaces or of being in crowded, public places like markets. Fear of leaving a safe place.
Agyrophobia- Fear of streets or crossing the street.
Aichmophobia- Fear of needles or pointed objects.
Ailurophobia- Fear of cats.
Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens.
Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic.
Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.
Amaxophobia- Fear of riding in a car.
Ambulophobia- Fear of walking.
Androphobia- Fear of men.
Angrophobia - Fear of anger or of becoming angry.
Anuptaphobia- Fear of staying single.
Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Arachnephobia or Arachnophobia- Fear of spiders.
Arithmophobia- Fear of numbers.
Atychiphobia- Fear of failure.
Aurophobia- Fear of gold.
Autophobia- Fear of being alone or of oneself.A
viophobia or Aviatophobia- Fear of flying.
Bibliophobia- Fear of books.
Botanophobia- Fear of plants.
Cacophobia- Fear of ugliness.
Caligynephobia- Fear of beautiful women.
Cathisophobia- Fear of sitting.
Catoptrophobia- Fear of mirrors.
Chiraptophobia- Fear of being touched.
Chirophobia- Fear of hands.
Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia- Fear of money.
Cleithrophobia or Cleisiophobia- Fear of being locked in an enclosed place.
Cyberphobia- Fear of computers or working on a computer.
Cyclophobia- Fear of bicycles.
Cynophobia- Fear of dogs
Deipnophobia- Fear of dining or dinner conversations.
Dentophobia- Fear of dentists.
Dishabiliophobia- Fear of undressing in front of someone.
Domatophobia- Fear of houses or being in a house.(Eicophobia, Oikophobia)
Ecclesiophobia- Fear of church.
Eleutherophobia- Fear of freedom.
Enochlophobia- Fear of crowds.
Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers.
Epistaxiophobia- Fear of nosebleeds.
Epistemophobia- Fear of knowledge.
Ergophobia- Fear of work.
Erotophobia- Fear of sexual love or sexual questions.
Euphobia- Fear of hearing good news.
Eurotophobia- Fear of female genitalia.
Gamophobia- Fear of marriage.
Geliophobia- Fear of laughter.
Gelotophobia- Fear of being laughed at.
Genophobia- Fear of sex.
Gerascophobia- Fear of growing old.
Gerontophobia- Fear of old people or of growing old.
Glossophobia- Fear of speaking in public or of trying to speak.
Gymnophobia- Fear of nudity.
Gynephobia or Gynophobia- Fear of women.
Hadephobia- Fear of hell.
Hagiophobia- Fear of saints or holy things.
Hemophobia or Hemaphobia or Hematophobia- Fear of blood.
Iatrophobia- Fear of going to the doctor or of doctors.
Ithyphallophobia- Fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis.
Japanophobia- Fear of Japanese.
Judeophobia- Fear of Jews.
Kolpophobia- Fear of genitals, particularly female.
Mageirocophobia- Fear of cooking.
Maieusiophobia- Fear of childbirth.
Malaxophobia- Fear of love play. (Sarmassophobia)
Medomalacuphobia- Fear of losing an erection.
Medorthophobia- Fear of an erect penis.
Melanophobia- Fear of the color black.
Melophobia- Fear or hatred of music.
Menophobia- Fear of menstruation.
Musophobia or Muriphobia- Fear of mice.
Mycophobia- Fear or aversion to mushrooms.
Mycrophobia- Fear of small things.
Myctophobia- Fear of darkness.
Myrmecophobia- Fear of ants.
Novercaphobia- Fear of your step-mother.
Nucleomituphobia- Fear of nuclear weapons.
Nudophobia- Fear of nudity.
Numerophobia- Fear of numbers.
Nyctohylophobia- Fear of dark wooded areas or of forests at night
Nyctophobia- Fear of the dark or of night.
Obesophobia- Fear of gaining weight.(Pocrescophobia)
Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8.
Odontophobia- Fear of teeth or dental surgery.
Oenophobia- Fear of wines.
Oneirophobia- Fear of dreams.
Oneirogmophobia- Fear of wet dreams.
Ouranophobia or Uranophobia- Fear of heaven.
Paraskavedekatriaphobia- Fear of Friday the 13th.
Parthenophobia- Fear of virgins or young girls.
Pedophobia- Fear of children.
Peladophobia- Fear of bald people.
Pentheraphobia- Fear of mother-in-law. (Novercaphobia)
Phagophobia- Fear of swallowing or of eating or of being eaten.
Phalacrophobia- Fear of becoming bald.
Phallophobia- Fear of a penis, esp erect.
Pharmacophobia- Fear of taking medicine.
Phasmophobia- Fear of ghosts.
Phengophobia- Fear of daylight or sunshine.
Philemaphobia or Philematophobia- Fear of kissing.
Philophobia- Fear of falling in love or being in love.
Phobophobia- Fear of phobias.
Placophobia- Fear of tombstones.
Pteronophobia- Fear of being tickled by feathers.
Satanophobia- Fear of Satan.
Sciophobia Sciaphobia- Fear of shadows.
Sexophobia- Fear of the opposite sex. (Heterophobia)
Taphephobia Taphophobia- Fear of being buried alive or of cemeteries.
Telephonophobia- Fear of telephones.
Theophobia- Fear of gods or religion.
Tocophobia- Fear of pregnancy or childbirth.
Triskaidekaphobia- Fear of the number 13.
Urophobia- Fear of urine or urinating.
Venustraphobia- Fear of beautiful women.
Virginitiphobia- Fear of rape.
Vitricophobia- Fear of step-father.
Zelophobia- Fear of jealousy.
Zeusophobia- Fear of God or gods.
Zoophobia- Fear of animals.
But before that, here's some facts about some celebrities who have a weird fears in them. (Taken from a pullout in The Star)
1. BBC's Mind Matters reports that Johnny Depp is not only afraid of spiders, he also freak out whenever he sees a clown! (Now you know how to fight Captain Jack Sparrow)
2. Actor Matthew McConaughey may be fit and hunky but he is scared of tunnels and revolving doors.
3. Scarlett Johansson has a more common phobia - cockraches.
4. Former Baywatch star Carmen Electra may have done millions of photoshoots by the beach but the actress is still not quite ready to jump in the water. She is afraid of water. (So how did she act in Baywatch in the first place...)
5. Not only he is commitment-phobic, according to Toronto Star, John Mayer also has 'dirt phobia' and always goes through every corner of his hotel room to make sure that it's sparky clean and free of dust when he checks in.
6. Nicole Kidman and butterflies? They just don't go together. Based on a news report on Contactmusic.com, the Australian actress is reportedly suffering from fear of butterflies.
7. You think David Beckham is cool? Think again. The footballer is reportedly suffering from ataxophobia (fear of untidiness) and must organize his wardrobe according to colour. He also has the urge to count his clothes and organize his magazines in straight lines.
8. Talk is that actress and reality star Pamela Anderson is terrified of mirrors.
9. Keanu Reeves is reportedly suffering from scotophobia (fear of darkness) and computer phobia. (So, how did he become Neo in Matrix?)
10. Sarah Michelle Gellar is scared of graveyard. According to FOXNews.com, a fake graveyard had to be built because the former Buffy the Vampire Slayer star refused to film the series in real graveyards.
The list.
Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing.
Achluophobia- Fear of darkness.
Acousticophobia- Fear of noise.
Acrophobia- Fear of heights.
Agliophobia- Fear of pain.
Agoraphobia- Fear of open spaces or of being in crowded, public places like markets. Fear of leaving a safe place.
Agyrophobia- Fear of streets or crossing the street.
Aichmophobia- Fear of needles or pointed objects.
Ailurophobia- Fear of cats.
Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens.
Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic.
Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.
Amaxophobia- Fear of riding in a car.
Ambulophobia- Fear of walking.
Androphobia- Fear of men.
Angrophobia - Fear of anger or of becoming angry.
Anuptaphobia- Fear of staying single.
Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Arachnephobia or Arachnophobia- Fear of spiders.
Arithmophobia- Fear of numbers.
Atychiphobia- Fear of failure.
Aurophobia- Fear of gold.
Autophobia- Fear of being alone or of oneself.A
viophobia or Aviatophobia- Fear of flying.
Bibliophobia- Fear of books.
Botanophobia- Fear of plants.
Cacophobia- Fear of ugliness.
Caligynephobia- Fear of beautiful women.
Cathisophobia- Fear of sitting.
Catoptrophobia- Fear of mirrors.
Chiraptophobia- Fear of being touched.
Chirophobia- Fear of hands.
Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia- Fear of money.
Cleithrophobia or Cleisiophobia- Fear of being locked in an enclosed place.
Cyberphobia- Fear of computers or working on a computer.
Cyclophobia- Fear of bicycles.
Cynophobia- Fear of dogs
Deipnophobia- Fear of dining or dinner conversations.
Dentophobia- Fear of dentists.
Dishabiliophobia- Fear of undressing in front of someone.
Domatophobia- Fear of houses or being in a house.(Eicophobia, Oikophobia)
Ecclesiophobia- Fear of church.
Eleutherophobia- Fear of freedom.
Enochlophobia- Fear of crowds.
Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers.
Epistaxiophobia- Fear of nosebleeds.
Epistemophobia- Fear of knowledge.
Ergophobia- Fear of work.
Erotophobia- Fear of sexual love or sexual questions.
Euphobia- Fear of hearing good news.
Eurotophobia- Fear of female genitalia.
Gamophobia- Fear of marriage.
Geliophobia- Fear of laughter.
Gelotophobia- Fear of being laughed at.
Genophobia- Fear of sex.
Gerascophobia- Fear of growing old.
Gerontophobia- Fear of old people or of growing old.
Glossophobia- Fear of speaking in public or of trying to speak.
Gymnophobia- Fear of nudity.
Gynephobia or Gynophobia- Fear of women.
Hadephobia- Fear of hell.
Hagiophobia- Fear of saints or holy things.
Hemophobia or Hemaphobia or Hematophobia- Fear of blood.
Iatrophobia- Fear of going to the doctor or of doctors.
Ithyphallophobia- Fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis.
Japanophobia- Fear of Japanese.
Judeophobia- Fear of Jews.
Kolpophobia- Fear of genitals, particularly female.
Mageirocophobia- Fear of cooking.
Maieusiophobia- Fear of childbirth.
Malaxophobia- Fear of love play. (Sarmassophobia)
Medomalacuphobia- Fear of losing an erection.
Medorthophobia- Fear of an erect penis.
Melanophobia- Fear of the color black.
Melophobia- Fear or hatred of music.
Menophobia- Fear of menstruation.
Musophobia or Muriphobia- Fear of mice.
Mycophobia- Fear or aversion to mushrooms.
Mycrophobia- Fear of small things.
Myctophobia- Fear of darkness.
Myrmecophobia- Fear of ants.
Novercaphobia- Fear of your step-mother.
Nucleomituphobia- Fear of nuclear weapons.
Nudophobia- Fear of nudity.
Numerophobia- Fear of numbers.
Nyctohylophobia- Fear of dark wooded areas or of forests at night
Nyctophobia- Fear of the dark or of night.
Obesophobia- Fear of gaining weight.(Pocrescophobia)
Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8.
Odontophobia- Fear of teeth or dental surgery.
Oenophobia- Fear of wines.
Oneirophobia- Fear of dreams.
Oneirogmophobia- Fear of wet dreams.
Ouranophobia or Uranophobia- Fear of heaven.
Paraskavedekatriaphobia- Fear of Friday the 13th.
Parthenophobia- Fear of virgins or young girls.
Pedophobia- Fear of children.
Peladophobia- Fear of bald people.
Pentheraphobia- Fear of mother-in-law. (Novercaphobia)
Phagophobia- Fear of swallowing or of eating or of being eaten.
Phalacrophobia- Fear of becoming bald.
Phallophobia- Fear of a penis, esp erect.
Pharmacophobia- Fear of taking medicine.
Phasmophobia- Fear of ghosts.
Phengophobia- Fear of daylight or sunshine.
Philemaphobia or Philematophobia- Fear of kissing.
Philophobia- Fear of falling in love or being in love.
Phobophobia- Fear of phobias.
Placophobia- Fear of tombstones.
Pteronophobia- Fear of being tickled by feathers.
Satanophobia- Fear of Satan.
Sciophobia Sciaphobia- Fear of shadows.
Sexophobia- Fear of the opposite sex. (Heterophobia)
Taphephobia Taphophobia- Fear of being buried alive or of cemeteries.
Telephonophobia- Fear of telephones.
Theophobia- Fear of gods or religion.
Tocophobia- Fear of pregnancy or childbirth.
Triskaidekaphobia- Fear of the number 13.
Urophobia- Fear of urine or urinating.
Venustraphobia- Fear of beautiful women.
Virginitiphobia- Fear of rape.
Vitricophobia- Fear of step-father.
Zelophobia- Fear of jealousy.
Zeusophobia- Fear of God or gods.
Zoophobia- Fear of animals.
Friday, August 21, 2009
15 Malaysia
15Malaysia is a short film project. It consists of 15 short films made by 15 Malaysian filmmakers. These films not only deal with socio-political issues in Malaysia, they also feature some of the best-known faces in the country, including actors, musicians and top political leaders. You may think of them as funky little films made by 15 Malaysian voices for the people of Malaysia.
Title: Potong Saga by Ho Yuhang
Synopsis
A laugh-out-loud film about a Chinese boy’s misguided attempts at opening an Islamic bank account.
Title: Chocolate by the late Yasmin Ahmad
Synopsis
A quiet tale that reminds us that, despite the multifaceted contradiction of Malaysia, life goes on – even if not all of it is sweet.
Title: The Tree by Amir Muhammad
Synopsis
Malaysia’s most influential spiritual leader Nik Aziz offers commentary on the virtuous and Islamic way to conduct ethical commerce in his inimitable style.
Go to www.15malaysia.com to download these movies for free.. YES. FREE! 12 more short films to be released. They are going to be released one by one every 2 days. The next one House by Linus Chung will be released at the website at 12am sharp on 24th Aug 2009. Don't forget to check it out. I will be posting the films here also. Support our local film. We are MALAYSIAN!!!! Woo hoo...
Title: Potong Saga by Ho Yuhang
Synopsis
A laugh-out-loud film about a Chinese boy’s misguided attempts at opening an Islamic bank account.
Title: Chocolate by the late Yasmin Ahmad
Synopsis
A quiet tale that reminds us that, despite the multifaceted contradiction of Malaysia, life goes on – even if not all of it is sweet.
Title: The Tree by Amir Muhammad
Synopsis
Malaysia’s most influential spiritual leader Nik Aziz offers commentary on the virtuous and Islamic way to conduct ethical commerce in his inimitable style.
Go to www.15malaysia.com to download these movies for free.. YES. FREE! 12 more short films to be released. They are going to be released one by one every 2 days. The next one House by Linus Chung will be released at the website at 12am sharp on 24th Aug 2009. Don't forget to check it out. I will be posting the films here also. Support our local film. We are MALAYSIAN!!!! Woo hoo...
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tak Sedap
Well, I can't make it to lunch with my colleagues today cos have a meeting at 2pm. Was early so I stop by at a roadside stall at Jln Chan Sow Lin to grab a bite, rojak and cendol for lunch. Turns out it sucks big time. Really sangat tak sedap. But no choice, telan saja la. It's cheap, though. RM3.50 for both rojak and cendol. Well, that's one stall I'm never gonna go back again.
Footie fans got another round of shock in game 2. Newly promoted Burnley provides the shock of the day with the 1-0 defeat of champion Man Utd. Spurs turn on the heat by going top of the league with a 5-1 win away to Hull. Else, it's back to business by Gerrard and co, with the captain assist twice in a 4-0 win against Stoke, who held them to a goaless draw last season, twice. Torres opened the scoring spree, Glen Johnson scored no 2, his first goal in his home debut, Kuyt and N'gog seal it in the second half. Hopefully they can continue the free scoring against Aston Villa on Monday. Also will miss watching the game again...why can't they play on Sunday???
Had a bad luck in the morning. While squeezing my way through the traffic before Sunway toll at LDP, this 1 tonne lorry keeps squeezing into my lane. He was very close on my left. I let him pass, hoping he doesn't touch my car. But no, he chose to scratch my left side mirror with his rear side. And I'm not sure whether he didn't know it or pretending cos he doesn't have any reaction. Damn...Kanasai.
Went to renew my passport this morning at Subang Airport there. Was there yesterday but too many ppl, so have to abandon the plan and come back today, earlier. There were only 2 counters ooen and the machine at the kiosk is not working, and I don't think it can reach us in time with 20ppl on queue and it's 8.40am. (I start work at 9am) So, come back today lor. Reached at about 8am. Kanasai today they open 4-5 counters. I don't even have to wait for my turn and it was all done within 5 minutes. Can collect new passport within 2 hours but decided to drop by tomorrow to pick it up.
So, today reached office 1/2 hour early. Yay...
Footie fans got another round of shock in game 2. Newly promoted Burnley provides the shock of the day with the 1-0 defeat of champion Man Utd. Spurs turn on the heat by going top of the league with a 5-1 win away to Hull. Else, it's back to business by Gerrard and co, with the captain assist twice in a 4-0 win against Stoke, who held them to a goaless draw last season, twice. Torres opened the scoring spree, Glen Johnson scored no 2, his first goal in his home debut, Kuyt and N'gog seal it in the second half. Hopefully they can continue the free scoring against Aston Villa on Monday. Also will miss watching the game again...why can't they play on Sunday???
Had a bad luck in the morning. While squeezing my way through the traffic before Sunway toll at LDP, this 1 tonne lorry keeps squeezing into my lane. He was very close on my left. I let him pass, hoping he doesn't touch my car. But no, he chose to scratch my left side mirror with his rear side. And I'm not sure whether he didn't know it or pretending cos he doesn't have any reaction. Damn...Kanasai.
Went to renew my passport this morning at Subang Airport there. Was there yesterday but too many ppl, so have to abandon the plan and come back today, earlier. There were only 2 counters ooen and the machine at the kiosk is not working, and I don't think it can reach us in time with 20ppl on queue and it's 8.40am. (I start work at 9am) So, come back today lor. Reached at about 8am. Kanasai today they open 4-5 counters. I don't even have to wait for my turn and it was all done within 5 minutes. Can collect new passport within 2 hours but decided to drop by tomorrow to pick it up.
So, today reached office 1/2 hour early. Yay...
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Kids Say The Darnest Things
Quiz for Kids...
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? e.g.abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the Borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean? (I do love this one.)
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Take 1. Heard some news that Rafa only had 2mil pound transfer kitty? Who the heck can he buy with that amount of $$$? Defender from Conference League? Even a defender from Hull is rated at 10mil pound. WTF???
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Testy Testing...(Old Joke)
One night Jack Evans, along with his 3 university friends went out drinkinig till late night, as many college students are prone to do, and didn't study for their test, which, of course, was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt. They went up to the dean and explained that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst. They continued to explain how they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test. The dean, being a compassionate human being said that they could rtake the test after 3 days. The students garaciously replied that they'd be ready by that time. On the third day, they appeared before the dean. The dean explained that since this was a special test all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the duration of the exam. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. The test consisted of 5 questions with total of 100 points:
MID SEMESTER COURSEWORK EXAMINATIONINSTRUCTIONS :All questions are required. Any inconsistencies on any of the questions among the four students will result in all the candidates getting a zero mark.
Q.1. Write down your name. ----- (2 POINTS)
Q.2. Write the name of the bride and bridegroom at the wedding you attended. ----- (30 POINTS)
Q.3. What type of a car were you driving? ------(20 POINTS)
Q.4. Which tire burst? ------- (28 POINTS)
Q.5. Who was driving? ------ (20 POINTS)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Take 2. Car meter reached 12k this morning, after using it for almost 5 months. Averaged usage of petrol about RM400 per month. Travelled averaged about 2500km per month. Been using few petrols to compare the performance. Started using P at first, then tried S and one time M. Been using S for a few months now cos got competition. Hey, RM30k is a lot ler...but didn't win any yet. Summary, S is slightly better than P in terms of performance. But I will still alternate between S & P to find out more comparison performance, especially when RON95 is coming next month. Also, it's far away from what Proton claimed that Saga BLM can achieve. It could be my style of driving or the city traffic that cause it but it's almost half of what they claimed. Maybe I can send them a copy of the report that I made.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Birthday Wishes...
Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
“Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.”
Little Bobby was a bit of a trouble maker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby’s mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did. Bobby’s mother, being a Christian woman, wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the year.
“Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday."
Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
*****LETTER 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one. Your Friend, Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn’t true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.
*****LETTER 2
Dear God,
I have been an “OK” Boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.
Bobby
Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a third letter.
*****LETTER 3
Dear God,
I know I haven’t been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday please.
Thank you, Bobby
Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. Now, Bobby was very upset. He went down stairs and told his Mom that he wanted to go to church. Bobby’s mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.
“Just be home in time for dinner," Bobby’s mother told him.
Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the alter. He looked around to see if any one was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the Church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen and began to write his letter to God.
*****LETTER 4
God,
I'VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.
Bobby
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? e.g.abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the Borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean? (I do love this one.)
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Take 1. Heard some news that Rafa only had 2mil pound transfer kitty? Who the heck can he buy with that amount of $$$? Defender from Conference League? Even a defender from Hull is rated at 10mil pound. WTF???
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Testy Testing...(Old Joke)
One night Jack Evans, along with his 3 university friends went out drinkinig till late night, as many college students are prone to do, and didn't study for their test, which, of course, was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt. They went up to the dean and explained that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst. They continued to explain how they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test. The dean, being a compassionate human being said that they could rtake the test after 3 days. The students garaciously replied that they'd be ready by that time. On the third day, they appeared before the dean. The dean explained that since this was a special test all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the duration of the exam. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. The test consisted of 5 questions with total of 100 points:
MID SEMESTER COURSEWORK EXAMINATIONINSTRUCTIONS :All questions are required. Any inconsistencies on any of the questions among the four students will result in all the candidates getting a zero mark.
Q.1. Write down your name. ----- (2 POINTS)
Q.2. Write the name of the bride and bridegroom at the wedding you attended. ----- (30 POINTS)
Q.3. What type of a car were you driving? ------(20 POINTS)
Q.4. Which tire burst? ------- (28 POINTS)
Q.5. Who was driving? ------ (20 POINTS)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Take 2. Car meter reached 12k this morning, after using it for almost 5 months. Averaged usage of petrol about RM400 per month. Travelled averaged about 2500km per month. Been using few petrols to compare the performance. Started using P at first, then tried S and one time M. Been using S for a few months now cos got competition. Hey, RM30k is a lot ler...but didn't win any yet. Summary, S is slightly better than P in terms of performance. But I will still alternate between S & P to find out more comparison performance, especially when RON95 is coming next month. Also, it's far away from what Proton claimed that Saga BLM can achieve. It could be my style of driving or the city traffic that cause it but it's almost half of what they claimed. Maybe I can send them a copy of the report that I made.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Birthday Wishes...
Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
“Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.”
Little Bobby was a bit of a trouble maker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby’s mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did. Bobby’s mother, being a Christian woman, wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the year.
“Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday."
Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
*****LETTER 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one. Your Friend, Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn’t true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.
*****LETTER 2
Dear God,
I have been an “OK” Boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.
Bobby
Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a third letter.
*****LETTER 3
Dear God,
I know I haven’t been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday please.
Thank you, Bobby
Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. Now, Bobby was very upset. He went down stairs and told his Mom that he wanted to go to church. Bobby’s mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.
“Just be home in time for dinner," Bobby’s mother told him.
Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the alter. He looked around to see if any one was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the Church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen and began to write his letter to God.
*****LETTER 4
God,
I'VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.
Bobby
Monday, August 17, 2009
First Game Over
Ok, Liverpool lost in their first game. Sad. I have to admit that they play like sh*t in the first half. It's better in the second half but they don't really deserve to win with that kind of performance. I also admit that I thought referee is "kayu". IMHO, it's a clear penalty on the push on Voronin by the Spurs' first goalscorer. The handball is no issue. And I'm furious on how easy the referee give free kicks to Spurs whose player fell with a soft touch. Well, I'm not going to get banned for critisizing the stupid referee. Stupid stupid stupid.
Anyhow, it's quite a concern on the way they played last night. They only get lively when Yossi was introduced. I thought Johnson was all sorts before his surge run to get the penalty. They let Spurs control the game. Wednesday is the first home game against Stoke. Hopefully they don't park bus in front of their goal again. And hopefully Rafa can find a key to unlock the bus and drive it away so that his boys can score.
Back to BPL, all 10 games ended up with winners, no draw. 6 away winners. 4 debutants scored. Shock of the day is of course Arsenal's 6-1 win at Goodison Park. Only 6 of 10 games will be played next in the midweek. Cos there's qualifying games to the European Games in midweek also.
Anyway, back to reality. A bit busy over the weekend. Had a gathering with some of the old old old batch of MMURCS. For pics you can check my facebook. Also played badminton on Sunday afternoon having missed it a week before. Now my right leg is sore :(
Was quite upset that Malaysia didn't have any representatives in Badminton World Championship in India. Ccan't believe the Datuk Lee stuck at QF. The doubles also crashed out in the semis, when they are so close to make it to the finals.
I still haven't got any update on my stories. Still lazy and lazy. Haha. Ok, maybe will continue brainstorming today.
Will do another review of BPL on Thursday although I might not be able to watch it. Biasa la midweek game sure 3am here.
Okla..nothing to write liao
Anyhow, it's quite a concern on the way they played last night. They only get lively when Yossi was introduced. I thought Johnson was all sorts before his surge run to get the penalty. They let Spurs control the game. Wednesday is the first home game against Stoke. Hopefully they don't park bus in front of their goal again. And hopefully Rafa can find a key to unlock the bus and drive it away so that his boys can score.
Back to BPL, all 10 games ended up with winners, no draw. 6 away winners. 4 debutants scored. Shock of the day is of course Arsenal's 6-1 win at Goodison Park. Only 6 of 10 games will be played next in the midweek. Cos there's qualifying games to the European Games in midweek also.
Anyway, back to reality. A bit busy over the weekend. Had a gathering with some of the old old old batch of MMURCS. For pics you can check my facebook. Also played badminton on Sunday afternoon having missed it a week before. Now my right leg is sore :(
Was quite upset that Malaysia didn't have any representatives in Badminton World Championship in India. Ccan't believe the Datuk Lee stuck at QF. The doubles also crashed out in the semis, when they are so close to make it to the finals.
I still haven't got any update on my stories. Still lazy and lazy. Haha. Ok, maybe will continue brainstorming today.
Will do another review of BPL on Thursday although I might not be able to watch it. Biasa la midweek game sure 3am here.
Okla..nothing to write liao
Friday, August 14, 2009
Choose Children's Name Wisely
Choose your kid's name wisely or they will be the laughing stock of his/her entire schooling days. I got this forwarded mail from a friend(Thx Ken) and just want to share it with you. You might heard this story before, but I think they still will make you laugh.
Confusing Chinese Names
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!
Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent.
Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.
Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator : I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).
Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!
============ ========= ========= =========
This is hilarious ....Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:
Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)
Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)
Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)
Carl Cheng => Buttock (Hokkien)
Monica Cheng => Touching your buttocks (Hokkien)
Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)
Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)
Suzie Leow => Lose till death (Hokkien)
Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)
Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)
Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)
Nelson Tan => Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)
Leslie Tong => Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)
Carmen Teng => Leg hair long (Hokkien)
Connie Mah => Call your mother (Cantonese)
Danny See => Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)
Rosie Teng => Screws and nails (Hokkien)
Pete Tsai => Nose droppings (Hokkien)
Macy Koh => Never die before (Cantonese)
Moral of the story, if you have the surnames above, think carefully about the Christian name to give your kids.
Confusing Chinese Names
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!
Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent.
Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.
Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator : I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).
Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!
============ ========= ========= =========
This is hilarious ....Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:
Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)
Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)
Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)
Carl Cheng => Buttock (Hokkien)
Monica Cheng => Touching your buttocks (Hokkien)
Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)
Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)
Suzie Leow => Lose till death (Hokkien)
Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)
Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)
Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)
Nelson Tan => Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)
Leslie Tong => Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)
Carmen Teng => Leg hair long (Hokkien)
Connie Mah => Call your mother (Cantonese)
Danny See => Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)
Rosie Teng => Screws and nails (Hokkien)
Pete Tsai => Nose droppings (Hokkien)
Macy Koh => Never die before (Cantonese)
Moral of the story, if you have the surnames above, think carefully about the Christian name to give your kids.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Novel Prologue
Last night I started to draft my first chapter. It was hard thinking of the story and plots and characters. In the end, it suddenly came. Yay..free flow but had to stop cos it's 2am already. Will continue today.
But as a standard quote... "Cerita ini adalah rekaan semata-mata. Tidak ada kaitan dengan yang hidup atau yang mati."
There you go..haha. Anyway, it's a fantasized story, and it will include some facts from the real world. You might find some characters resemble you. And the story may seems familiar, maybe blast from the past or somewhere you read before.
Sneak peak? I have no idea cos I just started on the first chapter...haha. Wait if you can.. and please don't expect new story everyday.. sometimes the idea just stopped coming... maybe few hours, maybe few days, maybe few weeks or maybe few months. But you can pester me if it's not updated for so so long.
Thanks for your support ya.
But as a standard quote... "Cerita ini adalah rekaan semata-mata. Tidak ada kaitan dengan yang hidup atau yang mati."
There you go..haha. Anyway, it's a fantasized story, and it will include some facts from the real world. You might find some characters resemble you. And the story may seems familiar, maybe blast from the past or somewhere you read before.
Sneak peak? I have no idea cos I just started on the first chapter...haha. Wait if you can.. and please don't expect new story everyday.. sometimes the idea just stopped coming... maybe few hours, maybe few days, maybe few weeks or maybe few months. But you can pester me if it's not updated for so so long.
Thanks for your support ya.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Life's Like That
It's hard to get people to gather together nowadays. I've been trying to hold 2 different gatherings for 2 different sets of people this month. While the total ppl are over 50, I only managed to get about 10 to 15ppl to join the gatherings. It's kinda sad too.
But I understand the situation. Life after school/university is definitely different. There wasn't any time to gather around and have fun. All people have gone to the point where they are in the rat race to survive the world today. Work and own family come first. No, mostly work will come first. If work doesn't come first, the the rest won't be able to come later. Also, some are all over the world.
But 10 to 15 ppl is still not bad. At least we still have some people to have fun with. Sure, the more is better, but less is not worse. So, will take this time to enjoy and have fun with them cos you'll never know, these times will be one of the memories you'll cherish later.
Other news..football..yay. The season has started. BPL will start this weekend. But Liverpool's game is on Sunday. Usually I will bo song cos need to wait another day to see them play, but this time, thankfully it's on Sunday. Why, cos I have plans this Saturday night, so will definitely miss the game if it's on Saturday. Woo hoo. I don't want to do prediction cos I will always be rooting for Liverpool all the way. Kinda worried tho with the central defensive injury problems. But I think Chelsea will be quite strong cos they don't have big names leaving. Not like the other big 4, where Alonso left Liverpool, Ronaldo n Teves left MU and Adebayor left Arsenal. It could be interesting if Man City with 9 forwards can join in the exclusive big 4 status.
I still haven't start on my story writing. A bit lazy and out of idea. Maybe should sit still for one day to think of a great plot for the story. Come come my idea.
That's all for the moment.
But I understand the situation. Life after school/university is definitely different. There wasn't any time to gather around and have fun. All people have gone to the point where they are in the rat race to survive the world today. Work and own family come first. No, mostly work will come first. If work doesn't come first, the the rest won't be able to come later. Also, some are all over the world.
But 10 to 15 ppl is still not bad. At least we still have some people to have fun with. Sure, the more is better, but less is not worse. So, will take this time to enjoy and have fun with them cos you'll never know, these times will be one of the memories you'll cherish later.
Other news..football..yay. The season has started. BPL will start this weekend. But Liverpool's game is on Sunday. Usually I will bo song cos need to wait another day to see them play, but this time, thankfully it's on Sunday. Why, cos I have plans this Saturday night, so will definitely miss the game if it's on Saturday. Woo hoo. I don't want to do prediction cos I will always be rooting for Liverpool all the way. Kinda worried tho with the central defensive injury problems. But I think Chelsea will be quite strong cos they don't have big names leaving. Not like the other big 4, where Alonso left Liverpool, Ronaldo n Teves left MU and Adebayor left Arsenal. It could be interesting if Man City with 9 forwards can join in the exclusive big 4 status.
I still haven't start on my story writing. A bit lazy and out of idea. Maybe should sit still for one day to think of a great plot for the story. Come come my idea.
That's all for the moment.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Terry Fator
Ok. Lazyness kicked in barely days after starting this :(
Well, just want to share this amazing entertainer who won America's Got Talent...last year i think :p He's a ventriloquist. Not only he's a ventriloquist, he's also an entertainer, impersonator and now headline in Las Vegas, with most actions without moving his mouth. If I can do half what he can do, or maybe if i can impersonate 2-3 person with ventriloquism, I'm gonna be so cool :)
Here are a few of his acts in AGT. His audition already blown the judges away. Check it out.
Well, just want to share this amazing entertainer who won America's Got Talent...last year i think :p He's a ventriloquist. Not only he's a ventriloquist, he's also an entertainer, impersonator and now headline in Las Vegas, with most actions without moving his mouth. If I can do half what he can do, or maybe if i can impersonate 2-3 person with ventriloquism, I'm gonna be so cool :)
Here are a few of his acts in AGT. His audition already blown the judges away. Check it out.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Yoo hoo...
Today's haze like quite bad.Visibility is not very good. The only plus sign is can't smell the burnt smell. Stuck at traffic a lil longer but still made it to office in time.
Supposed to have a meeting with JKR today. Called every extension I have with me to confirm my meeting but no one picked up at all. Maybe I should just drop in and surprise them.
Woke up to the news that Xabi Alonso is going to Real soon. Really sad. Besides his super passes, he's the one we look for to get the opposition players red card. I'm not quite sure whether Rafa can find someone as superb as him, but maybe if he can get a great striker to partner Torres, then Gerrard can go back to his midfield role, with Mash as the holding mf.(Hope Barca don't prise him away too) If Real really paid 30mil pound for Alonso, then Rafa's making a 200% profit for a player he bought for a mere 10mil pound 4 years ago.
To add more variety in here, I might write a long story(like novel) and post chapter by chapter when I had it. Look it out in the Novel label later. Need to put my thinking cap to create a great story. Hope my lazyness won't kick in with this one.
Right... signing off now.
Supposed to have a meeting with JKR today. Called every extension I have with me to confirm my meeting but no one picked up at all. Maybe I should just drop in and surprise them.
Woke up to the news that Xabi Alonso is going to Real soon. Really sad. Besides his super passes, he's the one we look for to get the opposition players red card. I'm not quite sure whether Rafa can find someone as superb as him, but maybe if he can get a great striker to partner Torres, then Gerrard can go back to his midfield role, with Mash as the holding mf.(Hope Barca don't prise him away too) If Real really paid 30mil pound for Alonso, then Rafa's making a 200% profit for a player he bought for a mere 10mil pound 4 years ago.
To add more variety in here, I might write a long story(like novel) and post chapter by chapter when I had it. Look it out in the Novel label later. Need to put my thinking cap to create a great story. Hope my lazyness won't kick in with this one.
Right... signing off now.
New blog - Online
So, I decided to start new one again. Will try hard to update frequently.
I hope to not write too much about Liverpool and BPL which is due to start in less than 2 weeks, cos it might bored you to death if you are not a football fan.
It 12.20am now. Not gonna write too much now. It's almost sleep time... well my sleep time is usually not going to be happening in about 1.5 hours later... so ya... a bit lazy and no idea to pull some crap out of my head.
Signing off to the first post of Luna Noctiluca.
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