Happy New Year 2010

Male or Female?

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS
They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS
These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.

TIRES
Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated. HOT AIR

BALLOONS
Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES
These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS
Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

HOURGLASS
An hourglass is female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS
Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL
Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

Joke of the Day

The New Pastor...

A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners.

At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote 'Revelation 3:20' on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned.

Added to it was this cryptic message, 'Genesis 3:10.' Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.'

Genesis 3:10 reads, 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.'

What is a Kiss???

So, what is a kiss in professors's term?

Prof. of Computer Science:
A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.

Prof. of Algebra:
A kiss is two divided by nothing.

Prof. of Geometry:
A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.

Prof. of Physics:
A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.

Prof. of Zoology:
A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria.

Prof. of Physiology:
A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicular ors muscles in the state of contraction.

Prof. of Dentistry:
A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.

Prof. of Accountancy:
A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.

Prof. of Economics:
A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.

Prof. of Philosophy:
A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.

Prof. of Engineering:
Uh, What? Im not familiar with that term.

Swift Influence

Yeah..I'm talking about Taylor Swift. Everyone should know who she is after the Kanye outburst. But she came back strong after that incident.



I admit that I currently like this country chick as my favourite artist. She's really an artist on fire at the moment, bagging loads of awards and no 1 hits. At 19, she has achieve more that what a regular 19 year olds do.



I have the Fearless album. Usually, I only like few songs from albums of any singers, but I actually like all of her songs. Really soothing and nice to hear. I'm sure a lot of you have heard Love Story, You Belong with Me an Fifteen already,but try to listen to the rest such as Fearless and White Horse. Highly recommended.



Back to the title, why influence? Well, she has a song that she featured on. 2 Is Better Than 1, a song by Boys Like Girls featured Taylor Swift is my current favourite song now. I wasn't really a fan of Boys Like Girls before this. After this song, now I kinda like them. Maybe because of Taylor's influence. I didn't think that Love Drunk is a cool song, but now I did.. haha.



This is 2 is Better Than 1 - Boys Like Girls ft Taylor Swift

Lyrics
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my lifeAnd I thought hey
You know this could be something
Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

'Cause maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everythings okay
And finally now, we're leaving

And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

Yeah, yeah

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey

Maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinkingOooh I can't live without you

'Cause baby two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And I've figured out with all that's said and done
Two, is better than one

Two is better than one


Looking forward to her next album now... :)

Cyril Takayama!

As a child of the 80's, I grew up in the time where David Copperfield was famous. Then, I started to have interested in watching magic shows, although I didn't have much chance.

Come beyond the year 2000, I stumbled upon some clips send by others in the mail about this amazing magician. Haven't had a clue on who he was. Saw him again with "THEM." Still doesn't know his name until recently, found loads of his street performance in Japan on Youtube. He is CYRIL TAKAYAMA!

I'm really impressed with his magic abilities. He did something that I have never seen in other magicians before and I wonder how it is just an illusion and not real. I woudn't compare him to other magicians like David Blain or Criss Angel because they have different kind of magic but he is in a world on his own.

Few weeks ago, I was in a video store in Kuala Lumpur and I found a dvd on Cyril's street performance in Japan. Quickly snapped it without hesitation. In there were loads of his amazing magics which some keeps on amazed me until now. Too bad most of it in Japanese and there's no subtitles :p.

Most notable performance that he can do is bringing out burgers/food from posters and eat it, then put it back half eaten. This is my favourite. Another similar instance is that he made a tap using a marker pen and stuck it in a poster of a cola drink. The cola literally flows out when he opens the tap...and it's a real thing!

Cyril can do magic in lots of different way such as card tricks, coins, telekinesis, flying and a lot more and I can't wait to see what he has stored for us in the coming future. I wouldn't be surprised if he can do something that is really impossible.

There's not much to say on whether Cyril touched my life.. but he has set a standard of magics that I'm going to expect in the future, not only from him but also from others.

A legend in the making..or is he already one?

CYRIL: Simply Magic!

Taikor

Yes, I'm talking about "Big Brother" as translated. Also talk about big boss in triad days.. happened to me? No. It's just a novel.

This is no ordinary novel. It's really good. It has a great characters and storyline and have some elements of facts about pre independence Malaysia in the 1900s. Very highly recommended to read this book.

The author is Mr Khoo Kheng-Hor from Penang and published by Pelanduk Publications (M) Sdn Bhd. I think you can find the book in various bookstores in Malaysia.

A historical saga that brings back the past for those who could still remember and for the young who may wish to know how things used to be in the years between 1922 and 1982.

From the beginning in prewar British-ruled Malaya, the story revolves around the life of a boy as he grows to manhood. It traces the migration of his family from South Thailand to Penang after his father passes away, his brief childhood living with his young widowed mother who subsequently remarried, and thereafter his banishment as a youngster by his stepfather to war-torn Shanghai. On his return, he had to find a way to earn a living and thereafter, survive the bloody days of the Japanese Occupation. Even after the surrender of the Japanese, there was the lawless postwar period, from which he saw opportunities to eventually emerge as a taikor(big brother) in Penang's chaotic underworld. Apart from opportunities, the postwar years also saw dangers, like the Emergency period when Communist insurgents tried to destabalize the country's development.

Finally, a nation was born when Malaya became an independent sovereign State. And just as the new nation strive to build a future from its historical legacy, the taikor sought to break away from his past involvement in triad activities to build a new life for himself and his family.

Check it out. You won't regret it. This novel was nominated for the 2006 International IMPAC Dublin Literary Award.

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Taikor wasn't the only one novel that Mr Khoo wrote. There are 3 more.

The second one - Don't judge the book by it's cover.

Following the success of his first novel, Taikor, which was nominated for the 2006 International IMPAC Dublin Literary Award, Mr Khoo has launched this second one which plunges the readers into the glitzy world of nightclubbing.

As Mr Khoo takes you behind the scenes of a large Kuala Lumpur cabaret and nightclub, be shocked and fascinated by the lives of a host of vividly-drawn characters, from the dance hostesses, mamasans, managers, bouncers to those customers who patronize nightclubs. Be prepared to find yourself in a whole new world totally different from those known to most of us. It is a world where money "plenty of it" is king, arousing greed, lust, violence, and yet be surprised to find out that the players are, in truth no difference from us, the average guys, as they too could love, hate, dream, hope, despair, feel hurt, bleed, laugh and cry as we do.

As passionate storyteller, Mr Khoo spins a tale encompassing other tales covering juvenile delinquecy, growing up, deceit versus honesty, love, broken home, corruption and power abuse of police officers, rape, blackmail and murder.

Be entertained.

===================================

The third one.

Today, many people around the world have heard of Malaysia and Singapore. But not many really knew that these two nations were once known as literally meaning the "Southern Ocean", a name given by the early Chinese migrants who flocked to this part of the world to escape from war, poverty, hunger and famine, and to seek their fortune.

In this absorbing historical saga, Mr Khoo weaves an engaging tale linking the multi-racial peoples who inhabit the two countries: the orang asli(i.e. the aborigines), the people from various parts of Southeast Asia collectively known as the Malays, the Chinese(migrants and Straits-born Peranakan), the Indians, and of course the Eurasions, descendent of inter-marriages of the natives and the Europeans, such as early Portuguese who came to colonize the wealthy Malacca Sultanate, before being chased out by the Dutch, who in turn were outmaneuvered by the British, who thereafter systematically colonized the land to be known as British Malaya and the Crown Colony of Singapore until they too were driven out by the invading Japanese.

Here is the fascinating story of their relationships, as seen through the lives of four generations as they toiled and struggled for wealth and power, fought for their beliefs and freedom, and felt their hopes and dreams for their future and those of their offsprings, as Nanyang became two separate fledging nations.

===================================

And the most recent one.

Death was an old companion for him.

He grew up in uncertain and violent times. Even with the return of the British after the Japanese Occupation, a peaceful life was still non-existent in post-war Malaya. He was forced to join his family in suffering an uprooting from his home to a barbed-wire New Village as a government’s strategy to contain a Communist insurgency.

Having watched his father’s cold-blooded murder as ordered by an over-zealous British army officer, he knew he had to survive in order to seek vengeance. Young as he was, he also knew he couldn’t do it all on his own but had to learn from those who were able to teach him.

It was his destiny to meet the sifu - teacher or master - who would initiate him in the deadly craft of a professional assassin. But unlike many others, he wouldn’t kill indiscriminately. He killed only those who deserved to die until death came too close to him.

Just finished Sifu. Again, another twist of characters and plots in this book. I shall not reveal more so it's better you grab a copy and read it yourself.

Bali Day 2- 19 September 2009

Day 2 started with a bang. My alarm was actually set at 7.30am. But at approx 7:06am, I was awoken by a loud sound. In my blurness, I noticed that my bed is moving around... like when you are in a bus on a long and bumpy road. OMG!! It's earthquake! You can hear the buildings and windows vibrating. It stopped after awhile.

I went outside to see that everyone is actually outside, asking what is going on. They say it's earthquake...not sure where yet. First time they felt that strong tremor in Bali as per the hotel staff. I went back in and freshen up. On the Tv to see if there's any news about the earthquake. Voila. There was. The epicentre was in the ocean, about 75km south of Denpasar. Oh well, we all continue with breakfast without any panic or what and continue the day as planned.

After breakfast, our first stop is the Monkey Forest visiting the mischievious monkeys. Monkeys as usual are quite scary but here are not that scary. They only want food. You can actually buy bananas at the entrance to feed them monkeys. Usual things u can see is finding kutu la. You can see the pics down here that they really enjoy it, even until showing your butt to everyone.

Ah, the relaxing mood...

So, after hanging at the Monkey forest for like 2 hours from 9am to 11am, we head all the way to the other end of the road to have our lunch. Not all the way as there bound to be someone stopped at the shops on both sides of the road to grab something as it's our last day to shop there.

BABI GULING!!! Yay, you must try this when you come to Bali. The restaurant we went, Ibu OKA Babi Guling was packed with ppl, even got long queue when we reached at about 11:45am. we managed to get a big square table what we have to squeeze to fit all of us. Pics below. It's nice but the skin is everyly crispy until it's damn hard. Poor Babi.

After lunch, we went to Ubud Market to do a little of shopping. Bought some clothes and vanilla. Then is Spa time!

We went to Verona Spa which is just located at a lorong beside our hotel. Booked the package..which lasted 4 hours to finish. Nice place, nice massage, but ducks outside is so noisy when massaging. Ka ka cau cau.

After spa, is dinner time. Also nearby at Dian Restaurant. Most of the guys had tasty food but the one I had, Set Bebek (crispy duck) is not so nice. Rice is too sticky, duck was dry and portion was so small. Not full at all. We had another crispy duck the next day, that one is much better. Check out the day 3 next ya.

Bye.

Bali Day 1 - 18 September 2009

My first time on a plane, flying across ocean... and it went to the awesome island called Bali. Bali is part of Indonesia, the world's most populous Muslim and yet almost 90% of Balinese are Hindu. That's why you can see a lot of Ganesha's and Buddha's face all around Bali.

Flight was at 9:50am. Reached KLIA main terminal at about 7:45am.

Almost everyone has arrived. Two went to LCCT because the taxi uncle sent them wrong way. Luckily they made it in time to check in. We fly by Malaysia Airlines.

Suaku, you may say about me, but first time flying, what can you say. I guess everyone who fly first time will take pics of clouds from above. The pics here looks like 3 animals to me..haha.

Since it's MAS, we had breakfast on board with a choice if roti canai or nasi lemak. We chose nasi lemak.

It actually came with a pink guava juice as seen on pics. And also 3 biji Ferrero Rocher and Jacker Wafer Biscuit(which has been taken out). The nasi lemak was nice. Small portion though but no complaints there as I had 3 pieces of cake at home, then had McDonalds breakfast at KLIA. Quite full. Haha.

Pics below is stewardess in action, serving breakfast to everyone.

We touch down at Bali at about 12:55pm. We were flying really close above the sea before landing as the airport runway is right beside the sea. Kinda a bit scary..haha.

Went through immigration without much hustle..long queue cos it's holidays. When collecting our luggage, the drama begins. We couldn't find 5 of our luggages. We had 21ppl coming to bali and 5 of them are missing, including mine, my gf's, my boss' and 2 of the boys. According to my boss, this is the first time the luggage is missing since they started flying around.

We went to lodge a report. They said the luggages were stranded at KLIA. Luckily there's another MAS flight coming to Bali in the evening, and they can bring the luggages along. They promise to deliver the luggages to our hotel in Ubud once they arrived. So we take our copy of report and leave the airport, with 7 of us without our clean clothes to wear for the whole day, hopefully. We leave at about 2:30pm to Ubud.

Reaced our hotel at about 3:50pm. Yulia Village Inn was located at Jalan Monkey Forest in Ubud. The road is full of shops on both sides, be it selling souvenirs, t-shirts, sarongs, restaurants, hotels, bungalows, spa and not forgetting the Monkey Forest.

We went to have our lunch at a nearby restaurant. Ubud Village Restaurant. Since it's about 4:30pm when we went there, we had a light meal as our supposed dinner was supposed to be at around 7pm...which was pushed back to 8pm. Pics below is one of their signature sandwich.

After that we went jalan jalan along the road to see if there's anything interesting to buy. Interesting view all the way and they sell interesting stuff also. After that, we went back to hotel. Bad news, luggages haven't arrive yet. Everyone else went to dinner with clean clothes. 7 of us went to dinner after bath with dirty clothes.

Dinner at Wayan cafe, only a few minutes walk from the hotel. We sit on the floor with coffee table, which is quite a tricky way to sit for my boss and also myself with long legs. Haha. Need to adjust the way i sit a few times. I had Wayan's Chicken Curry. It was good.

Oh. When we get back to hotel after dinner, we got news that the luggages have arrived in Bali, but not sure yet when will reach the hotel cos there were few others who share the same bad luck as us. If they are staying at Kuta or Nusa Dua area, they'll get it first. We're staying at Ubud which is in the middle of Bali, so, it's most likely that we are the last one to get it. And alas, we got it at about 11pm. Yay. Clean clothes.

Here's some pics of the hotel we were staying. Bed looks nice. And they are so kedekut giving only syampoo..no bath foam also. And 2 shower cap. And 2 mineral water.

Ok. That's basically first day at Bali. Will continue with day 2 later. For more pics, can check it out at my facebook photos.

Lazy

Ya, the lazyness kicked in :( Plus I don't have much to say anyway..

Goal fest in last weekend's BPL. Yossi showed why he's important by getting a hattrick against Burnley with Kuyt completed the 4-0 scoreline. Man City also get 4 goals as they passed their first test with flying colours against Arsenal, who only managed to reply 2. But that 2 means the last team finally concedes. High flying Spurs was brought down to earth by Man Utd. As quoted by Jamie Yeo(something like that), "1 man down, 1 goal down, win 3-1. That's why they are champion." Chelsea scored another last minute goal...I thought Stoke will pull out a brave draw. No big surprise in the other matches.

Champions League starts today. The race to become the European Champion is on.

Friday, I'm going to Bali..yay. Don't look for me until the next Wednesday. Will write a diary and put it here, just for a guide if you want to go next time. Hopefully can catch good pics. Sorry I dun have those high tech digicam... only normal Olympus camera.

Here's some jokes for u guys..

Miracle at a Gas Station...

Sister Mary, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas.

The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned.

Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in the car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient.

Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the street.

One of them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm converting."

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A Summer Skirt Situation...

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, a lovely looking woman became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step

Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."

Drunk at a Bar...

In the middle of a huge metropolitan city was a skyscraper where at the top was a bar. At the end of a particularly hard day at work Jim went up to the bar to let go the stresses of that day. When he got there, there was already a man sitting at the bar drinking a particularly vile looking drink.

This strange man said "watch this" and proceeded to walk over to one of the large windows lining the wall. He then picked up a chair and smashed out the window and stepped out.

He started falling toward the ground turning end over end and right before he hit the ground he stopped and proceeded to drift up. He floated back up through the window and went back over to the bar.

Jim looked at the bartender and said "I'll have what he's having!"

After a few rounds of the drink, Jim stumbled over to the window and fell out. He fell all the way to the ground and landed with a loud SMACK.

The bartender turns to the mysterious man and says "Superman, you're such a jerk when you're drunk!"

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BPL action over the weekend is normal. Gerrard snached a late win for Liverpool at Bolton. Man Utd got away with a win over Arsenal thanks to an own goal by Diaby. Arshavin scored a wonderful goal though. Lennon fired a stoppage time goal to keep them 4 win out of four to join Chelsea at the summit. Man City continued to have another clean sheet as Adebayor scored his third league goal as in many games.

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Daddy Action...
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living.

"Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"

Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."

"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"

Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."

"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"

Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks."

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.

Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?

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What is the most popular song in the radio now? I listen to radio a lot when I travel. I listen to "I Got A Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas everyday. Caught the same song played at 2 different stations at the same time for a few times. Chances of 3 stations playing the same song? Well, almost. 2 stations played I Got A Feeling and another playerd Boom Boom Pow. I''m sick of the songs already. Another popular artist that I frequently heard on the radio is from David Archuletta. I think I listen to all his songs everyday. But the songs that I look forward to at the moment are You Belong With Me and The Climb.

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Holy Jokes!

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"

His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?"

The son replied, "I do know!"

"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"

"That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly, "It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'

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There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.

"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.

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"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."

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A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."

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There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."

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While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign:

"Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."

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Still haven't have any update to my stories...sorry.