Drunk at a Bar...

In the middle of a huge metropolitan city was a skyscraper where at the top was a bar. At the end of a particularly hard day at work Jim went up to the bar to let go the stresses of that day. When he got there, there was already a man sitting at the bar drinking a particularly vile looking drink.

This strange man said "watch this" and proceeded to walk over to one of the large windows lining the wall. He then picked up a chair and smashed out the window and stepped out.

He started falling toward the ground turning end over end and right before he hit the ground he stopped and proceeded to drift up. He floated back up through the window and went back over to the bar.

Jim looked at the bartender and said "I'll have what he's having!"

After a few rounds of the drink, Jim stumbled over to the window and fell out. He fell all the way to the ground and landed with a loud SMACK.

The bartender turns to the mysterious man and says "Superman, you're such a jerk when you're drunk!"

==================================

BPL action over the weekend is normal. Gerrard snached a late win for Liverpool at Bolton. Man Utd got away with a win over Arsenal thanks to an own goal by Diaby. Arshavin scored a wonderful goal though. Lennon fired a stoppage time goal to keep them 4 win out of four to join Chelsea at the summit. Man City continued to have another clean sheet as Adebayor scored his third league goal as in many games.

==================================

Daddy Action...
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living.

"Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"

Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."

"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"

Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."

"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"

Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks."

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.

Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?

==================================

What is the most popular song in the radio now? I listen to radio a lot when I travel. I listen to "I Got A Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas everyday. Caught the same song played at 2 different stations at the same time for a few times. Chances of 3 stations playing the same song? Well, almost. 2 stations played I Got A Feeling and another playerd Boom Boom Pow. I''m sick of the songs already. Another popular artist that I frequently heard on the radio is from David Archuletta. I think I listen to all his songs everyday. But the songs that I look forward to at the moment are You Belong With Me and The Climb.

==================================

Holy Jokes!

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"

His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?"

The son replied, "I do know!"

"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"

"That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly, "It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'

=======

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.

"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.

========

"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."

========

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."

========

There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."

========

While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign:

"Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."

==================================

Still haven't have any update to my stories...sorry.